How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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