Me. At least after what I've been through.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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