I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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