At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
