I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
