Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
