Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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