dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
