I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
