in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just saw a hot homeless man
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
