Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize