I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
