then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
