So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
