My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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