don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
