I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
