my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
