wakey wakey hands off snakey
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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