Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
