no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
