i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
