who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
