How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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