I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
