If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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