You're so nebulous sometimes
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
