I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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