The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
