a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
