your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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