Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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