So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
