worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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