I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
