I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize