I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
