You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
