just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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