The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
