Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
