OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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