sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
