I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
