Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
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