I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
