whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
