We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
