On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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