I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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