I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
