just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
